Kids fight. It’s like those Geico commercials, “as long as villains reveal their master plans, Geico can save you money on car insurance.” It could say, “as long as villains reveal their master plans, kids will fight.” Lately in our house it is not a physical kind of fight (🙌🙌🙌), instead it’s, “you’re RUDE”, “I’m NEVER gonna PLAY with you EVER again!” or just “STOOOOOOOPPP!”. And, as irritating as it is to be woken up by these words being screamed right next to you from the monitor, I usually let it go as long as possible.
I would be lying if I didn’t say my lack of interference was partly due to exhaustion, but honestly, the thing I’ve learned: you don’t always need to intervene. At least, not right away.
When those first few bigger fights happen you should absolutely intervene. Find out from each kid what happened while the other one listens without interrupting. Then, have them say out loud what they did wrong and identify what one thing they could do next time to avoid a fight. I then ask each kid what they could say to their sibling to make it better (they almost always decide sorry is best) and ask the other if they want a hug or high-five (hugs are a lot more physical and it may be uncomfortable for one kid to give to another and that is okay!). Using this process after a few arguments – a few as in 10+, not 3 – helps them establish a routine and become equipped to handle the next situations on their own.
For a majority of my kids’ arguments I still end up getting involved but not until they have first tried to solve the problem on their own. Also, if things become physical, I will usually step in sooner to ensure it does not continue. But next time an argument between your kids happens, try to let them figure it out on their own first. It’s a great lesson to teach early on that will help them through life.
Ha! That’s not me at all (but how great is Amy Poehler??!) Do I want to be the mom my kids and their friends feel comfortable talking to? Oh, you better believe it. Do I plan on being the mom that ensures my kids know how to be safe first and foremost when they are out and to make sure they call me day or night when they need me. 100%. While my parents never cheered us on to make bad choices that landed us drunk in the city, if we ever called needing a ride, they came no questions asked.
I want to be a positive role model for my kids. I want my daughters to see what a confident woman can do in and out of the workplace and I want my son to always be respectful of women. I have so many insecurities about my body, my work and of my cooking for my family but I want all of my children to see that my body is perfect because God made me how I am, I love the work I do in and out of the classroom despite having successes and failures and that I cook because I want to try new things, NOT because it is my “job” as a woman to get food on the table.
The thing I've learned that I want my kids to know: I am your mom and you can trust me and lean on me WHENever you need me.
I’ll probably never be the mom giving fashion advice – at 6 years old L’s eye for style is lightyears beyond mine – and I probably won’t buy you the hot new toy unless I get a killer deal on it because I know you are going to play with it for a hot second and then toss it in the toy box where all of the other toys go to die.
But, I will love you fiercely and unconditionally in every season of your life. There is nothing my child can do or tell me that will ever change that.
Hi, I'm Rebecca
I’m a wife, mom to 5 kids, former choir teacher, Christian and advice giver? I can honestly say I never expected to be the one giving advice when I so frequently ask for it, but the advice I’ve received is so valuable and must be shared! Here are some of the things I’ve learned so far!