Why do I have so many kids?

Honestly, some days I don’t have an answer. There are days where I am being screamed at by a 1 year old because her lunch is taking too long to get to the table, a toddler who, despite sitting on the potty for 45 minutes has decided to get off the potty and pee in the middle of the kitchen floor, while my two school-aged kids are arguing about if they are “racing” in the living room or not. These are the days that I have to remind myself of why I voluntarily made this my life.

For one thing, I’ve always wanted a big family. Part of it is my huge 7th Heaven fandom growing up, but it’s also the idea of being surrounded by family that could easily be categorized as overwhelming, because it is, but a feeling that I really craved. Andre and I usually tell people it’s because we will need someone to take care of us when we are older and figured one of them is bound to want to be a lawyer or doctor or have some other high paying career so we’d be set. But all that aside, 5 has pretty much always been our number so here we are!

This post is just as much for me as for any other mom out there. I need to remember that even on the days I’ve been pooped on, screamed at or stepped on, cleaned up pee from 4 different areas of the house, taped a book back together or consoled a child whose free balloon popped, there are other days that I get an unprompted I love you, I’m given a hand-drawn picture of Baymax, dinner plates are licked clean, I am prayed for by one or more kids, or my lap magically has room for all five kids to sit in and it is because of these days that I know every booger I’ve wiped from a face has been and will continue to be worth it.

The thing I’ve learned: the days are HARD. And it sucks sometimes. But if I can try to just remember one good thing from the day, I will remember why it’s all worth it.